As always my blogs are of my own experience and I never claim to be right, these are just my experiences to hopefully help you, or just bring back the memories of the first time you became a mum.
Let's recap the first couple of days, you go through what could well be the most exhausting slightly painfull experience of your life, and then you are given your precios new born to look after when really we just need a week long nap.
After two truly exauhsing days in the hospital you are told you can bring your new family home and it is so exciting! I literally shoved everything into the suitcases and packed up as quick as I could, dying to get home and start this journey!
You are told while your pregnant all about the emotions of after you give birth, whether or not you choose to believe this, it's true. I felt great on the way home bringing my brand new baby into my home that I had spent 9 months preparing for him, until we drove into the driveway, I just filled up and cried, and the crying didn't stop. Emotional wreck much?
Your midwife will probably tell you when you leave the hospital to "take it easy" or "give yourself a few days" you really do need to listen, I didn't and I ended up getting quite sick afterwards. With my emotions all over the place crying over silly things like putting the milk in the dishwasher instead of the fridge, and thinking I was super mum from the get go, trying to do everything at once, it all back fired.
I should have listened to the midwife when I was told to rest, you should rest for the first 3-4 weeks not go out to the shops and do house work the lot. I will definitely not be playing super mum the next baby I have bacause my recovery time was doubled.
Me and Shane are very lucky though because Luca got into a routine and slept through the night from 11 to 7:30-8am from two 1/2 weeks! And he still does so we have been lucky.
I don't know if it's the way we handled it, we didn't feed on demand, and I didn't breast feed. We had a routine of every 3 hours and if he wasn't awake we would wake him for his feed, because I wasn't well I had to be strict in his feeding patterns.
Isn't it funny how your conversations change once you have a baby, I now find myself and Shane discussing his tempature is he too hot? Is he too cold? Is he tired? What colour was his poo? How big was it? Did he poo?!
We don't know everything and to help us along we have A health nurse, a mother and unfortunately mostly everyone you meet is armed and ready to give you advice!
Us first timers get lots of advice and tips, you need to go with your gut, it's all about trial and error in the first few weeks. Just because one thing worked for one baby doesn't mean it will for all so don't get stressed if things your trying don't work at first.
For example, I was told in the hospital to feed Luca every 3 hours 4 oz, so I listened, I got home and Luca was needing more and more, my mum told be to up it to 6 oz, other people were saying 7oz every 4 hours. You need to make your own decision, I tried the 6 oz every 3 hours and it was to much for him, so I then tried 6oz every 4 hours and it still wasn't working, I eventually found that 5 oz every 3 hours was giving him enough food and he was getting enough sleep and was satisfied. At 6 weeks I then went up to 6 oz every 3 hours and it is perfect for him.
Another thing I have realised is every doctor has a different opinion for what is okay, remember that health nurses go by the book and the book doesn't always work. You need to listen to your gut and if it works it works.
So are the nights really sleepless, is the money tight, can you never wear makeup again, are you always exhausted?
Im not exauhsted, but I do get tired, I don't have a screaming baby but Luca has his moments where I need to just step away for a minute and compose myself before I tackle the task ahead. I clean when he sleeps and I can also do my makeup ( on a good day) when he sleeps. If I can have a shower I'm having a great day! I find having a shower is the hardest task. Sometimes I stay in my pjs all day and take naps when he does, I am only human after all. As for money we aren't struggling, we are still able to go to the cinema granted we have to make sure we have everything sorted but you just look after your money a bit more and buy offers.
In my next blog I will be talking more in depth about money spending, how we got through the first few weeks, where we buy clothes and ways we have found to save money.
Being a mum for the first time is an amazing experience. I don't mind the sound of cries, or the fact I know every word to most nursery rhymes. I don't mind that my sitting room looks like a small baby shop or that I could wash bottles with my eyes closed, I don't mind that sometimes I smell or that I've worn the same pjs 3 days in a row, or even that my manicure from 2 weeks ago is now a few dots of colour on my nails.
I love that every day I see a new improvement, his first smile, when he lifted his head up from tummy time for the first time I told every one as is he was the most intelligent baby around. I love seeing his gummy smiles and getting cuddles, I am smitten.
I am one of those mums who's phone is filled with nursery rhymes, who posts more than enough photos of their babies on facebook, and updates their status at the sight of a nice big poo. I spend way to much time looking at baby toys and new clothes. I find myself coo-ing more than I speak English.
your baby isn't going to be small forever, so take loads of pictures, try not to worry to much, make time for yourself even if it's a bath at 11pm, light some candles get some bubbles and just chill.
Having a baby isn't hard work, it's do-able work and it's worth it.
Don't look at what other mums are doing and compare, look at what your doing and be happy that you get to do it.
I hope you enjoyed this blog and keep an eye out for my next couple of blogs.
Over and out
Momma bear
Xxx
